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NOISY NEIGHBORS

Talking is first step for noisy neighbors

It's 4:00 A.M. and they're still at it upstairs, bouncing springs, shrieking moans piercing the night like an orgasmic Banshee. Three times in two hours! Each extended foreplay more raucously raunchy, climaxing in rafter shaking spasms which reverberate through your ceiling and walls. My God, you think to yourself, what record are they trying to set, don't they know that some people have 8:00 A.M. classes! You are not just a jealous prude, you would simply like to occasionally enjoy a good night's sleep in your downstairs apartment which has the soundproofing of a box of Hydrox crackers. An occasional Friday night orgy or wild party is one thing but the nightly sexcapades accompanied by the voice of Whitney Houston warbling like an operatic diva with tuberculosis is more than anyone should have to tolerate. You resolve that you are going to call the police regardless of how foolish this makes you feel. Before you make the call consider some of the following approaches first.

This writer readily concedes that bad taste in music fully warrants criminal prosecution, the death penalty is insufficient sanction for such torture. Taste being subjective, the police cannot exercise their authority based upon aesthetic discretion but only based upon decibel levels. In the clear-eyed morning there are several practical steps you can take. Politely talk to your offending neighbor in a non-threatening manner about "late night noise". Yes, they will be embarrassed (all pleasures have penalties). It is likely in their passion they were unaware of the volume of their excitement. 90% of the time this will solve any noise problem in apartment living. Amazingly, most people fail to take this basic step and immediately get third parties involved; the landlord or the cops. Failing to contact the noisemaker before taking other actions serves to irritate the landlord and interrupts the cops in the middle of eating a chocolate donut but, most importantly, it may permanently alienate you from the neighbor. Civility becomes strained at best.

The court system is filled with petty disputes between neighbors and, for that matter, roommates who have not bothered to talk with one another about their grievances, leading to congested dockets and great taxpayer expense. While it is preferable to resolve things in court rather than by fist or lethal weapon, it remains true even in today's "my rights are all that count" world that discussing problems tends to resolve them. In twelve years of dealing with this issue, I continue to be flabbergasted by the excuses I've heard for not talking with neighbors. "Well, they'll think I'm racist because it's rap music," "Their friends all wear X caps." Unfortunately, the opposite side of this paranoid coin of false sensitivity also raises its transparent face. When there is a rational reason not to make contact, or where friendly discussion has failed, then and only then should you call in big brother, keeping in mind that sometime you too may want to have a party where Montovani elevator music is not the accompaniment.

In contacting the landlord, keep in mind that the landlord has a legal duty not to breach the covenant of quiet enjoyment of your unit; however, it is doubtful whether there is any legal duty for the landlord to control the behavior and noise of co-tenants in your building. Examine your lease carefully as some contracts do contain provisions which you can compel the landlord to enforce. In the absence of a legal duty, most landlords will nonetheless send around notices to tenants regarding noise levels and have been known to directly contact the offending tenant. Both measures are usually effective.

As a last resort you should contact the police. Do not make a nuisance of yourself by calling every time you are irritated by some dissonant noise or loud conversation. Keep in mind that you are living in a loud, congested campus community and knew this when you signed your lease. I have had many very studious students confess to me that they cannot sleep in the silent burbs after a semester or two enjoying the campus cacophony of the night. Be tolerant before calling in the gendarmes; but also keep in mind that a noise ordinance exists and is readily enforced, you are not obligated to become a masochist.

Those of you who have just purchased the latest Metallica album do not really have to play it on high volume at 1:00 A.M. The cost of paying a noise ordinance fine of $155(Urbana) up to $300 (Champaign) would allow you to buy at least nine CDs or better yet one nice set of headphones, perhaps even your share of the rent. No, I am not some stuffy gray haired parent giving you a lecture, although I am starting to go a bit bald. I love rock music and it is definitely at its best when played at window shattering levels, but rarely is the penalty worth the pleasure.

The most common question the office is asked is "Where do I get a permit/license to have a party so the cops won't bust me for noise?" Neither Urbana nor Champaign issue party permits for noise, although a license is required if you plan on having more than one keg. Failure to obtain a keg license will result in a $300 fine for EACH keg on the premises; empties count. The twin cities do not write noise ordinance variances for personal parties. You are wasting your time calling the city for permission to violate this law, although you may be helping the police by letting them know where to go to write their tickets. The best advice I can give you is to maintain sound at humane levels before 10:00 P.M. and after 10:00 P.M. make sure that noise cannot be heard outside of your unit. If you cannot live with this restriction, then please be prepared to make a non-tax deductible contribution to the city treasury.

By: Thomas E. Betz Staff Attorney